Chinese New Year in Ratchaburi

Our Western New Year is usually brought in by a countdown and depending on your tastes a lot of alcohol and other drugs, and in my case a lot of mayhem and madness went with it, when I was still at it as we say in the trade! I must confess that I was sometimes soberish but thereagain there were times I was so drunk I missed it or got into so much trouble I was left to my own company. I do not believe I monopolised this behaviour! It's a pretty wretched affair really and in Scotland we regarded Christmas as a sort of dress rehearsal for New Year,you know, get your self into shape for a good session for Hogmanay & Ne'erday as we call it! Last New Year was very low key sitting on the beach in Langkawi and tucked up in bed with Luna by about 0130h.

Now I could not tell you the precise moment the Chinese New Year begins but we are celebrating it in Ratchaburi, throughout Thailand and the rest of the region. Here in Ratchaburi we are giving it big licks so to speak. It is really in stark contrast to the orgy of the western New Year. Sunday morning we were wakened by fire crackers that initially I thought were machine gun bullets! Really loud. A lot of shops and businesses were closed. A lot of cars sported orchids on their bonnets

We went out in the evening and the central market area had been transformed into Ratchaburi Chinatown, with red lanterns, red ceremonial gates, lots of bright lights and ceremonial dragons and snakes lining the river bank. Lots of people were wearing red shirts and there were plenty of women wearing red kimonos sporting dragons. In addition a large stage area had been built and later that hosted the mandatory beauty contest with 50 beauties fighting it out for the honours.

It was just such a relaxed, gentle atmosphere. People were milling around in family groups, snacking and taking it nice and easy. There were some interesting spectacles in addition to the beauty contest. When we arrived, the iron man competition was getting underway featuring the Thai version of the Venice Beach boys. The competition was to haul one of two old fire engine about 100 metres and to do it faster than your opponent. Finally Beefcake 1 and Beefcake 2 were set for the big match. Beefcake 1 clearly fancied himself but unfortunately couldn't get his fire engine rolling and Beefcake 2 had crossed the winning line with his before Beefcake 1 got his moving. It was hysterical because someone had overlooked the fact that these fire engines needed to be steered so as Beefcake 2 got his moving someone had to jump into the cabin and steer the thing if hundreds of kids were not to be crushed to death. Meanwhile Beefcake 1 was going mad and I presume he was suggesting foul play, that the hand break had not been released or the engine was not in gear or some such similar. He was kicking his fire engine and being very unThai. After this abortive first face off the organisers decided the best thing to do was to call the show off.

So we wandered and there were more "Hello Teacher Gerrys" and many "Hello Teacher Lunas", "Hello Teacher Mimis" and "Hello Teacher Fleurs". One of Luna's students told her I was very handsome! Clearly a case of very bad eyesight. We even saw one of the ladies from Ratchaburi Registery Office who made it difficult for us to register our wedding but we smiled and I pointed to Luna's wedding ring and then gave her the thumbs up. There were spectacular dragon fights and great fireworks. A human pyramid formed and a dragon's body with full ceremonial head was wrapped around the bodies and an acrobat on an adjacent lit fireworks in the dragon's mouth and set off an amazing shower of sparkling light. I even managed to attach a written new year wish to a tree with a large pole bearing a hook at the end.

The little ferry that takes you across the Meklong to the army camp was bedecked in bright red lanterns and this looked very distinctive as it drifted across the river. The pier had been temporarily turned into a spirit temple laden with red lanterns but also with lots of statues of Chinese spirits and the locals were going in, lighting lots of incense sticks and making wishes for the new year.

I watched the beauty contest for 30 minutes or so. I reckon the best thing about it were the katoey dancers in black trouser suits with red fans. One of them was a student of Mimi. The boy was so incredibly camp and effeminate when we met him before the show but this is how it is here. As I have commented before being male and wanting to be female is completely non-controversial.

As for the models well the make up trowels had been busy and ditto the hair lacquer aerosols and the lipstick. This is another feature of mainstream life here. Most events like this have a beauty contest. Thai style fun, sanook dee, usually involves a lot food and a beauty contest! When the festivities get under way in April for the Thai New Year, the beauty contest in Chiang Mai, to the north of Thailand will be televised live on national TV and there will be a separate male competition as well. The prize money is huge by local standards.

I remember well how popular Miss UK and Miss World were in the 1970s back in the UK. Major event for my sisters and mother! I guess the impact of feminism put paid to these cattle shows in the West. Luna is a big fan and she says the filipinos like a beauty contest as well. Our models tonight were dressed in tennis gear and I really can't say a lot more other than that I like they way they glide slowly down the cat walk and keep a smile by raising their eyebrows as high on the foreheads. It was standing room only at the contest and I got the distinct impression the women in the crowd were much more into it than the men. I don't know who won because we left before the end.

So what a pleasant way to bring in the Year of the Ox. Very civilised, very gentle, really relaxing and no groups of drunken revellers indiscriminately pissing all over the place, shouting obscenities at all and sundry and in all other respects being objectionable. If my understanding of written Thai is correct the market area will remain Chinatown Ratchaburi until 31st January so we will probably take another stroll down there before it ends.